my friend Helen Hill was murdered in her home.
Her dear husband Paul was shot, but is in stable condition.
Their little boy Francis was unhurt, thank god..
I feel so much for him, and his dad..
I know what it is to lose your mama,
to never know her, never get to experience
what a bad-ass woman she was..
This is so wrong, I don't even know how to write about it.
All the same, I want to say something- I have to,
no sleep on the horizon now- only grieving for
a family who truly emanated light and joy,
sweetness and calm whenever I happened upon them..
Helen was such a kind and open person-
bursting with enthusiasm for life and her myriad projects,
always smiling, always excited about being in the world.
I know everyone's eulogy begins like that,
and we all think, "Oh, sure.."
but honestly, I can't think of a more loving soul.
I am not understanding life's lessons today.
It makes no sense to me why or how this could have happened.
I have no words of wisdom, no peaceful sentiments
to impart regarding the destruction of goodness.
If someone could explain it to me, I'd be all ears.
Everyone who knew them is saying the same thing-
that you could not hope to meet a nicer pair of people,
and it's true..
They both worked tirelessly
with Food Not Bombs
and were so active in the community-
always involved, always helping..
Paul is a doctor and musician,
and Helen was
(there's that horrific past tense, goddammit)
a filmmaker, experimental animator
and teacher
and mother
and wife
and friend.
Baby Francis Pop
Paul and Helen's house was destroyed in Katrina,
but still they returned- determined to clean up,
pick up the pieces and continue living in New Orleans.
Even though her films were damaged and mostly
ruined by the mucky water, she continued to fight
to preserve her work- and to show the films
in their new, altered state.
Decay that tells a story-
before and after.
Her stories are worth taking the time to read-
to be inspired by the next time something
seems so insurmountable..
She just took it on, always smiling..
Here are some links that can tell you more:
TIMECODENOLA
An excellent article about the preservation of her films..
Helen and her films in the Gambit Best of New Orleans
Her bio at the Atlantic Film-makers Cooperative
In the middle of writing a book about the people who have returned to rebuild New Orleans, I have received news that one of us has been murdered, and her partner wounded. One that I knew and admired greatly- Helen Hill.
The murder seems even more shocking as she and husband Paul were among the most childlike and innocent people I knew, with an infant son Francis recently added to their family, a quiet and happy grouping that included their pot bellied pig Rosie, both of whom were unharmed in the crime.
Helen was a filmmaker, (god, I have to use the term was) and Paul is a doctor who has spent his life working among the indigent and needy.
They seemed 2 halves of a whole; and when Francis was born, it seemed as if they had done another good deed for the world, since a child born of these gentle souls would only bring good.
I had seen them soon after they returned to New Orleans this year from Canada. They had been part of an artists studio tour in the Marigny and the Bywater; I was more than pleased to see them; I felt as if another piece of the rebuilding was in place, since they added another family, another creative partnership, another caregiver in Paul's work, and not least, more positive cheerful, welcoming faces to come upon on a trip to the coffeehouse, an art event or at the park.
Ironically, they were worried about the safety of their family
returning to New Orleans only as it related to the quality of air and water; they had made their decision to return even with those concerns because they loved their adopted city.
I mourn the loss of their household. I worry that Francis will fear
the city that took his mother's life and took part of the peace from his father. I worry that bitterness will seep in, and take away the untouched beauty Helen represented to us.
After the news, I took a walk on a newly created labyrinth that
friends and I made on New Years Day and thought about this tragedy, and about Helen herself. I came out of the labyrinth with 2 thoughts; to find a way to remember and honor Helen in a way that will keep her spirit alive among us that are left, and a promise to keep fighting the darkness that is touching us all by creating more positive space and moments together for our tragic, yet extraordinary city.
Dar
I don't think that I could be more devastated than finding that Helen Hill was murdered. She and her husband Paul Gailiunas were the most delightful couple I have ever known, both dedicated to community and friends. Helen was always radiant with a huge beautiful illuminating smile because she was filled with love and appreciation for everyone and everything. As Dar said, she was a true innocent.
Paul is a Doctor with a dream to have a free medical clinic. Until his dream becomes a reality, he is working with a walk-in clinic in the Ninth Ward. He did not want to return to New Orleans after their home and belongings were destroyed by the aftermath of Katrina, but Helen couldn't wait to move back to her beloved New Orleans. Helen asked all of us to write a card telling Paul reasons why they should return. Sadly, I was one to entice him.
Helen was an International Award winning animator, who also received fellowships and grants for her creative endeavors.
Paul was shot three times and is expected to recover.
Their baby Francis is with friends and physically unharmed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
News has just arrived of the murder and shooting of two of the most kind and generous people who this community has ever seen. I met HELEN HILL at our coffeehouse community space where she was teaching class for the New Orleans film collective. I've never met a more pleasant person. She now lies dead from being shot in her Marigny home. Dr. Paul Gailiunas was also shot while carrying their two-year old son.
The child is unharmed, but Paul is seriously injured, but likely to survive. Paul's clinic saw
many poor people, including some of my employees in an Esplanade clinic. He has received numerous Community Awards for his work with homeless and under priviledged.
His band, "The Troublemakers" entertained with a progressive political commentary,
a testament to love and action against injustice.
These people didn't deserve this! We don't deserve this! When will this insanity stop? A lifetime of love snuffed for who knows what. I wish Paul and Helen had made the selfish decision and stayed in Canada or wherever...how could we waste their gift...and this is the fifth murder in the last 14 hours. I can't believe this couple wants our bowed heads or silent prayers. What they would want is action. I can't take this anymore. Does anyone else feel this level of outrage?
Does anyone else feel we must get the guns off the streets, we must eliminate priviledged and underclasses, we must stop drug exploitation, we must not tolerate racism, violence, hate...
I for one believe that unless we do something to make fundamental changes, we have pulled the trigger and fired the shots that have killed and destroyed these beautiful beings. I'm taking this one personally.
Robert Thompson
Fairgrinds
The last time I saw Helen was Mardi Gras day.
She stopped me in the gathering crowd
on Chartres Street by the Friendly Bar
and handed me this post card:
Francis Pop Gailiunas, a New Orleans native,
dresses up as Cupid for Mardi Gras 2006.
and a stamped postcard addressed to Paul that read:
POSTCARD CAMPAIGN
What's a good reason to come back to New Orleans?
Please help me convince Paul!
Write it down or draw a picture on the other side
and send this off to Paul by August 2006.
Include your return address and we'll write you back.
Thanks so much, Helen
I never sent it.
I could think of reasons,
to go back, to stay away-
but I didn't feel right about trying to
convince him when I hadn't stayed myself.
Holding that pale blue rectangle of paper now,
a year ago- her hand holding it,
handing it to me.
Hugging her and wishing her luck
in the street on that bright day.
So fucking far away now.
She had so much faith in that city,
and I won't say she was wrong to-
I won't say the city killed her,
because it was a man, or men-
neglected and abused by a system
that transformed them into murderers.
My friend Jai says that she was the
kind of person who would have
forgiven them.
I think he's right, but I hope
they get caught and go down,
and soon.
I'm trying so hard to not have
hard and bitter thoughts right now-
trying to send Paul and Francis
love and hope instead..
This is a portrait Paul did of Helen at one of our
Cabaret Revoltaire Dada Extravaganzas..
It says, "EARLY TO RISE"..
She did one of him as well,
both so sweet and amazing-
both salvaged from my own
ravaged house and covered
with streaks of black mold.
I think it is such a perfect
and accurate capturing
of her radiant spirit,
her will to overcome.
Oh Helen- you will be dearly missed..
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